Sylvia S. J-166, AUSTRALIATruly fascinating! I started reading the Instructions at lunch-time, had a quick look at the last chapters of volume I, and then skipped here and there through volume II, and it was all I could do to put it down until I could resume it later on that evening. When I did settle down to study it properly, at about 6:30 p.m., eight hours fled by, and I would have still been reading if my eyes hadn't been burning! I staggered off to bed at about 3 a.m. with my mind full of new insights, and more knowledge about who I am than I have ever acquired at one sitting.
Again, I can't wait to get stuck into volume II again! It's like taking a handful of pep-pills! I must confess that some of the concepts are almost scary, and I'm not sure that I agree with all of them in total. I'm not even sure that I even want to be the kind of "Neo-Tech" person that Dr. Wallace describes. But that, in my eyes, only goes to show how much fear and self-denigration have been bred into me over the 50 years of my life. It is said that "you can't teach an old dog now tricks," (one of the many ancient catch-phrases that most of us have accepted as "true", which Dr. Wallace warns against), but he has just taught me to think of myself as a human being, who can and will be taught a few new tricks, and to stop identifying myself as that "old dog". Hell, I don't even like dogs!
I was interested to find out whether I was suffering from "Growth Death", convinced that I was, but was most pleasantly surprised, on going through the check-list of Growth-Death indicators, to find that I am positively flourishing in the Growth department. Then I had to go at the sentence-completion techniques, very interesting indeed. I never dreamed I had so many repressed emotions! It was like a voyage of discovery, reading over my completion's to those sentences. I was almost asleep when I did those, but the answers I got awakened me I was too tired to think up "dishonest" completion's, and really did put down the first thing that my mind came up with.
I have always admired people who controlled their emotions, and have always thought less of myself for being unable, at times, to keep mine in check, but Dr. Wallace, in one simple sentence: "Emotions are neither good nor bad", has caused me to see the whole emotional side of myself in a completely new light.
That really amazes me is that I had never seen the simplicity of that concept, even by accident, in all these years. It is just like being separated from almost the whole of self-understanding by a wall of thinnest tissue-paper for years, and then suddenly realizing that the wall is there, and is the only obstacle to all I have been seeking. More than that, on the other side of that wall are riches not only of self-understanding, but of hundreds of other kinds which I am only now about to discover. The wall has dissolved, in a few minutes of those fateful 8 hours between Sept. 26th and 27th, and I'm about to live my life among the riches it has concealed.
Years ago, I read Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead", "Atlas Shrugged", and "The Virtue of Selfishness", which contains some essays by Nathaniel Branden if I remember correctly. Rand's philosophy of Rational Self-Interest had quite a profound effect on my ways of thinking, which I suppose must have influenced more of my subsequent activity than I realized. But, having been made aware of an alternative to the lifestyle of guilt, altruism, irrational values, etc., which is thrust upon most of us before we have learned to think for ourselves, I was no more able to use it than a sheep could use a knitting-machine. I wasn't even as integrated with myself as the sheep. I wasn't even using the wool on my own back, as it were, until someone came and shore it off. I was consistently being shorn of everything, by people I really had no time for, and instead of cooling me down, it was getting me increasingly over-heated. And still I couldn't find the key to applying what I had learned during my adult years. Now I think I have found it, in Neo-Tech. It is simply that Dr. Wallace has explored much further, and explained his findings in much greater depth, than those audacious and brave pioneers of Rational Self-Interest, and coupled it with the exposure and analysis of Neocheating.
I always suspected that all those "Positive Thinking", "Transactional Analysis", "Pulling Your Own Strings" books were lacking in something: now I know they are lacking in practically everything, at least everything that I was searching for. Thank you, Dr. Wallace.